i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
