I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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