Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
