can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
