he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
