Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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