When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize