ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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