do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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