Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
