There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
