we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
