So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize