Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize