I met the friendliest cop last night
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
