At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
