just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
