Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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