Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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