my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
