fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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