he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize