He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
