He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize
