I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
