Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
