First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
