yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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