she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
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