Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
