chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
