I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
