Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
