She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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