i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize
