That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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