I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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