Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
farters have to be the big spoon...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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