I'm so fucking centered right now
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
