I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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