I wanna passion pit in your ass
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
