I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
