Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
