i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
