Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
