sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
