I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
