ADVERTISEMENT

• (406): View more from Montana

  Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.

  Fav 73 2426 1094

  share tweet
  

• (905): View more from Toronto

  In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience

  Fav 125 6090 1644

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.

  Fav 24 1324 6451

  share tweet
  

• (865): View more from Tennessee

  Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?

  Fav 24 6214 1971

  share tweet
  

• (281): View more from Texas

  I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.

  (979): View more from Texas

  I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.

  Fav 23 5899 2094

  share tweet
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.

  Fav 13 3162 1009

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions

  Fav 5 843 753

  share tweet
  

• (312): View more from Illinois

  There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed

  Fav 0 652 945

  share tweet
  

• (727): View more from Florida

  Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.

  Fav 4 844 484

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.

  Fav 3 1130 464

  share tweet
  

• (515): View more from Iowa

  Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"

  Fav 1 478 576

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?

  Fav 0 205 161

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  "We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."

  Fav 2 246 113

  share tweet
  

• (770): View more from Georgia

  couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'

  Fav 0 94 4

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (253): View more from Washington

  That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.

  Fav 0 70 22

  share tweet
  

Randomize