I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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