Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
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