is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
