discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
