I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
