My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
barbara walters just said penis...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
