yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
