How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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