His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
