Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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