Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Alive.
So much puke
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
