kristin has been a bad kristin
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
