so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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