Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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