why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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