thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
