it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
