So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
