I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
